I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
