I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
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Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
how drunk are you?
Several
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize