i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
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