I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
Randomize
