Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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