forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
This is classic penis vs brain.
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
Randomize
