im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
