Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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