I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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