His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
Randomize
