dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
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