garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
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