he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
Randomize
