video games are the ultimate cock blocker
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
Randomize
