So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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