No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
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