if only i could text you this smell
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
Randomize
