Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
Randomize
