thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
Randomize