I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
Randomize
