She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
