Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
Randomize
