Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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