I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
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