You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Randomize
