:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
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My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
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When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
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