Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
