my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
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