I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Randomize
