Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
Someone came in the potted fern
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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