**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
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