i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
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