the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
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