she looked like the bat from fern gully.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
Randomize
