I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
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