He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
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