Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
Randomize
