her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
Just invented taco cereal.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
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