he referred to my room as the tit cave...
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Randomize
