I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
Rumble strips road head = magical
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
Randomize
