I hate all girls vehemently.
Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
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