You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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