Moan for me like Helen Keller
rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Randomize
