Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
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