Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
Randomize
