I showed him my bush... on skype.
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
