after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
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