it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
