he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
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