Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
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