Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
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