He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
