she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize