Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
two words...techno handjob
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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