it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
Randomize
